OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
