Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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