The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
