The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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