she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
