If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
