I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Shame - the story of my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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