So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
