Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
