I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize