He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
