So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
