Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
