Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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