so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
