I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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