I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
there is puke in my bra ... again
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
