Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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