You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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