Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
