During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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