If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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