My hand turned me down
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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