I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
