He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
