mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
