Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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