walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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