Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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