I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
