addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
