I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
