Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
