haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
