I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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