she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
