how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
