mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She's JV to your varsity
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
