; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
