she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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