have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
