He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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