I think i peed on brittanys purse
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
