): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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