if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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