we're blogging at a bar
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
