he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
