pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
my poor anus
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
