And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
