nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
