The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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