Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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