Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I supernannyed him into submission
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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