well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
did you just send me my own nude
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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