Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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