it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
