it was like his penis was on wheels.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
