Only a mothe r could love this liver
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
God, I missed his penis.
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