Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
