"it" just moved
I'm jealous of your bromance
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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