those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize