Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
