Buhtt sex?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
