Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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