operation harelip BJ is a go
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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