you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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