Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
